Monday, September 21, 2009

Monday Wanting, Yesterdays Missing

I miss moving around. I miss the excitement, the rejuvenation and the feeling of leaving your past behind. When i move around I feel as if Im gettting a fresh start all the time, that everything that has gone wrong in the past is wiped from my record. I can pretend to be someone else even.
I want a hammock, so i can sleep anywhere I want. I may be backpacking Europe with a very good "friend" of mine in the new year, perhaps I will take a hammock and just sleep in that.

but I miss the summer I had, I miss treeplanting, I miss not knowing where my life is headed. I told myself I would settle down a bit, keep a job, maybe even work full time, or more. But Im restless. I feel like Im missing out on something. I always feel like the excitement isn't where I am no matter what. Constant wandering eye syndrome, except this is worse. Im not just wandering onto people or friendships or jobs, I am wandering into lifestyles.

I shouldnt call it "worse". I dont feel guilty about it, in fact I feel the opposite. To me it's a lust for life, not wanting to miss anything, any opportunity that may come my way. Im always ready to take chances and throw things away on a wild bet, just in case this new exciting path is the one Im supposed to be on. But there isn't one clear cut path, you can go wherever you please. And that's just it, I want everywhere. every path. So i end up wanting... all over myself.

haha but really, im getting a kick out of it, so so what?

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